Music, Sex and Poetry
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
So Can Men and Women Really Be Just Friends?
Ah those of you who know me know we have covered this territory before.....But really can men and Woman be friends ?....I sat and debated it with a girlfriend of mine last night...after a rather stormy couple of weeks ...redefining boundaries with a friend of mine....which ended in a big ? If people are going to be friends.....male and female....what are the chances of it lasting and being genuine....If one party wants more and the other party feels it would be inappropriate...is there any hope for a friendship.....can people work through stuff...or is a friendship between a male and female bound to be short lived......what are the best friendships between the sexes you have experienced....whats the key to balancing a good male and female frienship. Is it appropriate to be friends with someone who is married of the opposite sex. Let me know your thoughts and feelings......''Can Men and Woman Be Mates"
Does it require too individuals who are highly processed....does it require lots of compassionate understanding......at some point does everyone have to come clean about there intentions.....and even if we come clean do we all have alterior motives anyway.... Are your best friends of the opposite sex the ones who are the best to fall in love with anyway, because you know them....like all relationships there is work to be done....I guess it just boils down too whether the two people involved can be bothered to do the work......friendship I guess like any other relationship is a negotiation process.....
Have you ever had a friend come clean and say they were in love with you ...or just lust with you...how did it feel and what were the consequences to a friend coming clean?......Have you ever felt betrayed by a friend just wanting to take you too bed in the end.....let me know you feelings.....Love Zoe
Does it require too individuals who are highly processed....does it require lots of compassionate understanding......at some point does everyone have to come clean about there intentions.....and even if we come clean do we all have alterior motives anyway.... Are your best friends of the opposite sex the ones who are the best to fall in love with anyway, because you know them....like all relationships there is work to be done....I guess it just boils down too whether the two people involved can be bothered to do the work......friendship I guess like any other relationship is a negotiation process.....
Have you ever had a friend come clean and say they were in love with you ...or just lust with you...how did it feel and what were the consequences to a friend coming clean?......Have you ever felt betrayed by a friend just wanting to take you too bed in the end.....let me know you feelings.....Love Zoe
posted by Zoe Scott # 3:49 AM 
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Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm. You wrote about boundaries of Friendship and defining them! But these boundaries are different for everyone! Friendship as I know it has no limits. (If one is not friend with someone for a reason and ...I get it is hard to be honest with oneself though. ) Then yes men and women can be friends.
I had this friend and we were very very close. When I was younger--in high school--He was the only one I shared my thoughts and concerns with when it would came to intimecy and sex and all. Once he told me "There is something I must tell you, it will save you lots of frustration in future! Every straight man you come across that notices you even a bit will think about you without your dress and there is a very good chance that he will do everything to get in to your pants... he can be your boss, coworker classmate ... . If he has social values he will leave with his fantasy if not he makes a move... if you say yes you two will have a reality if you said no he will move on. Sometimes it is a little more dramatic ;) The same thing is true about you, but you don't notice people often, and you r bond to your social values, most women are!"
So I asked him: "Have you pictured me without my dress?"
He said " yes"
I said "the frustration you mentioned came a bit sooner than you said!"
He said " I couldn't help that, but I could help not using you for my fantasy book. And you became more than a fantasy. You became a dream, I will never risk any thing that will make me wake from it. Even when you move far away what we have is preserve cause our relationship has no boundaries."
That day when we said goodbye and kissed and hugged I tired to keep that feeling in the box inside me.
Later when I fell in love I realize how different it was to be in love vs. love some one to death.
Still when my old friend passed away it hurt so much even more than my relationship end with the guy I was in love with.
So from my experince: yes you can
being with someone is a gift itself, we just have realize it.
Most of the time when someone slowly walk into our life we become friends. And when someone storms in we want to have sex. I guess because the second one promises more excitement.
And sometime when we are just desperate we want everything from everyone... we demand the pleasure from everyone that can give it to us! And our little world with all it's trouble is the perfect excuse. We ruin friendship and we wonder why...
I should stop or my comment is gonna get bigger than your post! Sorry
~P
Your Canvasser Friend! ;)
P.S. I like your 10 things... post a lot. Do you mind if I pass it on?
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I had this friend and we were very very close. When I was younger--in high school--He was the only one I shared my thoughts and concerns with when it would came to intimecy and sex and all. Once he told me "There is something I must tell you, it will save you lots of frustration in future! Every straight man you come across that notices you even a bit will think about you without your dress and there is a very good chance that he will do everything to get in to your pants... he can be your boss, coworker classmate ... . If he has social values he will leave with his fantasy if not he makes a move... if you say yes you two will have a reality if you said no he will move on. Sometimes it is a little more dramatic ;) The same thing is true about you, but you don't notice people often, and you r bond to your social values, most women are!"
So I asked him: "Have you pictured me without my dress?"
He said " yes"
I said "the frustration you mentioned came a bit sooner than you said!"
He said " I couldn't help that, but I could help not using you for my fantasy book. And you became more than a fantasy. You became a dream, I will never risk any thing that will make me wake from it. Even when you move far away what we have is preserve cause our relationship has no boundaries."
That day when we said goodbye and kissed and hugged I tired to keep that feeling in the box inside me.
Later when I fell in love I realize how different it was to be in love vs. love some one to death.
Still when my old friend passed away it hurt so much even more than my relationship end with the guy I was in love with.
So from my experince: yes you can
being with someone is a gift itself, we just have realize it.
Most of the time when someone slowly walk into our life we become friends. And when someone storms in we want to have sex. I guess because the second one promises more excitement.
And sometime when we are just desperate we want everything from everyone... we demand the pleasure from everyone that can give it to us! And our little world with all it's trouble is the perfect excuse. We ruin friendship and we wonder why...
I should stop or my comment is gonna get bigger than your post! Sorry
~P
Your Canvasser Friend! ;)
P.S. I like your 10 things... post a lot. Do you mind if I pass it on?
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