Music, Sex and Poetry

Of course we all have a million ways to avoid feeling pain, dissapointment, loss and grief. Life is always full of changes. When I was in my 20's, my way to avoid pain ws to run from it...change country, change lover, change friend. I was the great chameleon. But then certain events in life happened that forced me to face myself, and my out-moded survival mechanisms no longer served me. For someone, maybe it's a health issue or a love story that goes wrong, but one day you can't run anymore, and youre forced to just sit and face the pain, and this is definitely a right of passage. The tears have to be cried. For an artist, you really cheat yourself when you run from your feelings, cause feelings, and being strong enough to face them, are what is going to fuel your creativity. to be present, we really have to face what holds us in the past, or even what fears make us project into the future, rather than being in the here and now. Easier said than done when you're feeling the pain, it's just going to anhialate you. I've gone through big break ups. Grief comes in waves. One minute you feel fine, and the next minute you're floored. But there's no way around the feelings. They are the flesh of our lives. I would not reccommend inviting bad feelings. I would not reccommend dwelling on them, but there is no avoiding the feelings, and they have to go through you. YOu have to process them in order to learn the lesson, and for the feelings to evaporate, and they do in the end. They clear. I guess the worst bit is when we're in extreme pain, and we just don't know why the hell this happened to us. But it's like a child when they burn their hand on a fire. The period for the burn to heal is the time to reflect on what you did to get yourself burned. To become clearer. it's when the universe says "well, did you get it? and are you going to do it again???" I am a very passionate person, and this is probably why I am an artist. I have been given a gift of sensitivity to express my feelings through music. There are times when I've definitely gone too close to the flame. I've gotten burned, and had to face the pain. But I've learned a healthy way to do that as well. I dont want to leave peices of me behind, and I also don't need to run now. Being passionate is who I am. I have learned through facing the pain that the unreal should not be confused with the real. This, for me, has been my greatest lesson...the jewel in the pain is the wisdom. Find a safe way to face your pain, and wisdom and new revelations will come.